Friday, September 30, 2011

Master Procrastinator

I'm putting off working on my 3-4 page paper thats due Monday. I haven't even started it. Bad News Bears. Anyways, since I last posted, I have been extremely busy. Which is both good and bad. On Sunday, I had a sorority class/meeting and they told us all the stuff we have to do for the new member process. There is tons to do...All while working and going to school and hanging with Carl. Needless to say, it's definitely overwhelming. And on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, I was definitely feeling the pressure. Mini anxiety attack to the point of tears on Wednesday. I talked to my mom and my big, Ashley, about it, and as of right now I'm feeling better about the whole thing.

After my class on Sunday, I went to hang out with people from work. I had SUCH a great time. I can't wait to do it again. There's so much stuff I want to do and just not enough time in the day.

Lately, I've been thinking about the past couple years of my life. It might have a lot to do with my Screenwriting assignment, but whatever. I've been thinking about how sometimes, I would still like to go back to how things were. Even though it was over a year ago. And it bothers me that I still think that. I don't think about it very often, but just lately it's been creeping into my mind. Another thing that bothers me is that I. STILL. CARE. What the hell is wrong with me?? I need to stop it. Seriously. I don't know why I care because it's obviously not reciprocated. And I don't know why I care because right now, I am happier and more well adjusted than I ever have been. I am doing exactly what I want to be doing. I'm doing well in school, making my own friends and maintaining my old ones, and I got out of Bloomington. I am way better off. And I wish these feelings would just be gone for good. I'm done with them.  And I'm going to be dramatic on this one and sum this up with a lyric.

"You can take back your memories, they're no good to me"

Saturday, September 24, 2011

I'm Never Touching Another Person Again

.... This is my residual feeling from watching Contagion. I finally got to see that movie last night, and it was awesome! It was completely terrifying. How much everyone panicked, how fast the disease spread, everything about it. What I think was the scariest thing about it is how real it felt. Like this was actually happening. The film brought up things that you don't normally think about; at least things I haven't ever thought about. For example, I never thought about how long it takes to actually make a vaccine, or how it is decided who gets said vaccine first. Or how drug companies make billions of dollars off of panics like that. I also never thought about the panic that would spread in a situation. But that would definitely happen.
There were a lot of shots of just people's hands touching various things. I would say that those parts were freaking me out the most. There was a part when they were trying to find the origin of the disease, and they just kept showing Gwyneth Paltrow touching things and people. *Shiver* It's weird to think of such a deadly disease spreading through things we touch. One thing that really bothered me about the whole movie was that there were these minute to two minute long overly soundtracked sections. There was no dialog, just very loud, intense music playing, and shots of people talking over a conference table. It just seemed like dead airtime to me. Not good. I would say that that is about my only complaint though. This movie was completely riveting and absolutely terrifying.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Photo-Heavy Post: The Makeover!

First view in the house
Dropped off my dad at the airport today. So that means....THE WORK IS DONE! I took pictures to show all that we did, plus my new place with all my stuff in it.  Cool. It's kind of hard to appreciate exactly how different the old place looks in these pictures, but trust me, this is leaps and bounds above how it used to be.


Old Place Before













Lots of Hard Work Paid Off
Kitchen (Floors are the biggest deal)

Living Room

New Place Before

Entrance Way (My portfolio pictures on the wall)
Desk Area
 
My Bedroom



Thursday, September 22, 2011

I don't know how this can get harder.

Carl and I painting under the stairs
It's hard to convey how busy I've been and the amount of stress I've been under these past two weeks. That's why I haven't written. I picked my dad up from the airport last Monday, and we have been working nonstop ever since. My entire old place needed to be painted, re-carpeted, and deep, deep, cleaned. That is a big place, and every wall needed two coats of paint. So it's basically been painting all day every day. On top of that, plus school, work, and my sorority, I have moved into my new apartment. I am so overwhelmed it's unbelievable. I was naive enough to think that once I was out of that place, most, if not all, of my problems would be solved. NOPE. I don't quite exactly know where to start. I guess there's no need to bore you with talk of painting, so I guess I'll just get into my move.

Since my dad got here, we had been taking a few boxes over each night, so by Friday (when the movers came) all they would have to do is get the real furniture. I also had it set up so that the electricity would be turned on by the time we got there, and the cable people would come that day so I could have internet and have everything in order. Great plan, right? Well, I thought so. But we walked in Friday morning with the movers (85 degrees already, at 8:30 am) and the power was not on. No AC, no nothing. So I called, was on hold for an hour, and they told me it couldn't be turned on today because I had to pay a deposit. No one told me about any deposit when I ordered the service. It couldn't be turned on until Monday, the next business day, if I payed my deposit. So I payed my deposit on Saturday, figuring that any day over the weekend would have the next business day be on Monday. So I came here on Monday, power still not on. They can't turn it on until Tuesday because I didn't pay the deposit before 5pm on Friday. Once again, NO ONE told me that. So I was without power for 4 days so I couldn't stay here.

Then Carl had to go to the vet the other night, which cost me 200 dollars to find out he has allergies and the noise he was making was normal. Then I bombed my geology test. Then, this morning, my bike was gone. Now the cable guy is having a hard time getting my cable to work. Something is wrong with the utility line he says. It's just so great to be me right now. I swear I have the worst luck, and I don't even know why.

All of this is really starting to get to me. I've been really cry-y and irritable lately. I'm just so stressed. I don't want my dad to leave. I feel like him being here is going to make me more homesick after he leaves. But I guess I'll get over it. My dad being here has been pretty great. I have enjoyed having company. Like I said, I don't want him to leave. I will say that it has been a pretty great feeling to be able to unpack all of my stuff. At first, I was overwhelmed, but I've gotten through all of it all by myself. All that's left is to put things in the bathroom where they're supposed to be, and hang paintings and curtains. So not too much. Once everything is put together and clean, I'll put pictures up. Of the old place too so you can see what we got done. It looks a lot nicer.

Monday, September 12, 2011

A Real Update...

Things are going really well for me right now. Although I'm very stressed and super busy, things are finally starting to fall in to place.

Work is good. I have to close all the time, but I think I'm really getting the hang of things. Getting to know more and more of my coworkers. I'm finally starting to feel comfortable. It still feels so weird that I'm not at Morrissey. Like, when I'm at work, I'll say some of our inside jokes from home, and realize no one knows what I'm talking about. I always feel like I'm going to see everyone like tomorrow, and get sad when I realize that I am obviously not going to. The dynamic WHILE working is so different. I miss Morrissey a lot. I miss joking around the whole time. I try not to think about it. But I'm excited for when I go home and get to see them and hopefully pick up some shifts.

I guess I've got a few items of the latest news. First, I joined a sorority. I started going to rush events the Friday before last, and got inducted Saturday night. Its called Gamma Rho Lambda and it's an all-inclusive lesbian sorority. I really like it so far. We went to Ihop after induction and it was a lot of fun. Everyone is really nice and I really look forward to getting to know everyone and make some new friends on campus.
Next is that I got my new place. We closed last wednesday. I got the keys Saturday, and I can move in any time now. It was tiled, but they had to put carpet down. I don't know how much I've talked about that. But I love the carpet. I think more so than the tile. So that worked out. I'm actually picking my dad up from the airport tonight, and he's here to help me move all my stuff, and also to get this place i'm in now ready to be rented. We're going to repaint, put new carpet down, and really clean it up. There is a lot to do, and a lot of people to call. I'm glad Gene will be here to help me out. He's going to be here until the 23rd. It will help with some of the chaos.

School is going well for the most part. My geology class is like all online, and as you may or may not know, I don't have the Internet right now. So it's been hard to keep up with that class. I have to get it together. All of my other classes are going really well though. I got a 96% on my first sexuality test last week. I should get my grade for my paper really soon. I think I did well on that, too.

Basically, I've been very very busy. That's good though, I think. It makes me appreciate the time I have to myself at home alone instead of being lonely. All my downtime is spent with Carl. We are going to go to the nice dog park in Gilbert tomorrow with my dad. I try to take him with me any time I can. We went to Barbara's on Friday. I also went to the ASU game on Friday. It was an AMAZING game. We won in overtime. I went with my cousin Lori and my uncle Timmy. I'm really glad they invited me. We had amazing seats! Right on the 40 yard line, only 17 rows up. They were awesome. The whole experience has actually made me a fan again, I think. I'm excited to watch them play U of I on Saturday.

Anyway, all good things right now. Yaay!

Sick and Tired of being Sick and Tired


I want to apologize in advance for the amount of useless complaining that is about to take place. But I’ve been feeling pretty angry lately, so I want to vent.

First of all, I am literally physically sick and tired. All the time. I hate it. I’ve got this like head cold thing that is slowly working its way down my throat and in to my chest. It basically makes me miserable for the first half of the day. I am lucky that the more I move around, the less I feel it, but it’s the getting going part that is awful. Also, I just haven’t been able to catch up on sleep. I was doing so well for the first couple weeks with waking up and not taking a nap all day and feeling perfectly fine. Now it’s been like a serious struggle to get out of bed.

Mostly what has inspired this post is that I am sick of people feeling sorry for themselves and expecting people to jump on the sympathy train. I feel like I can comment on this because I have personal experience with the whole thing. Otherwise, I wouldn’t say anything. If you’re feeling depressed, DO something about it. I know that depression is a very real thing, but I also know it is very beatable and never permanent. You just have to put effort in to it. Stop blaming your mistakes and character flaws on being depressed… the excuse can only go so far. Mostly, instead of telling people about it and complaining about it in search of sympathy, change what is making you depressed. Or at least take steps that will move you in the right direction. I’m just tired of all this stuff on Facebook that I am reading.

I’m also tired of it being my responsibility to talk to people from home. I feel like if I don’t text or call, I just won’t talk to anyone. I would absolutely LOVE to get texts. And I would love someone to ask me how my day is going.

Lastly, I am SICK SICK SICK of these freaking roaches. I’ve killed five in the past four days. Three on one day. Finding new dead ones almost every day. And who knows how many I haven’t found. Can’t wait to be out of here and away from them.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Let's Talk About Sex...

That would get anyone's attention. For my Human Sexuality class this week, we watched Kinsey, and then had to write about it. So here is my reaction to the movie.


There were interesting choices in the way the movie was made, the dialog, and the casting. First of all, John Lithgow as Kinsey’s father was absolutely fantastic. He did a great job of being so mean and heartless. I loved when it was revealed that he had gone through a traumatic sexual experience. This brought a lot more depth to the character and made me even more impressed with Lithgow’s performance. It was refreshing to see him in a role like this because he always plays a nice guy. I did have a few problems with the casting, however. Having Tim Curry play the ultra-conservative teacher was way too weird. When I think of Tim Curry, I think Rocky Horror Picture Show. This was completely opposite from that. And unlike Lithgow, who excelled in his “out-of-the-norm” role, Curry just seemed way too awkward and didn’t play it as well. I also had a major issue with Liam Neeson. Normally, I think he’s great in basically anything he does. And when I found out that he was playing Kinsey, I thought it would be a very good fit. I was sorely mistaken. He was, in my opinion, way too rigid. He was supposed to be playing this man with a completely open sexual attitude, and even he just seemed uncomfortable the whole time. His speech also contributed to this feeling I think. It wasn’t just him, although his voice is strange, but the dialog was all wrong.
The dialog was all too candid for my taste. I know that the feeling was supposed to be openness about sex, but I think that this went way too far. There are people who are open about sex who don’t discuss it at the dinner table with their parents/children. I thought that was so strange and uncomfortable—also unrealistic. Another awkward moment, speaking-wise, was when Peter Sarsgaard and Liam Neeson were about to have sex. The whole conversation was very strange. I feel like no one would just basically say, “Do you want to have sex now?” and the other person be like, “Okay”, and then it happens. Also, I know that the questions were designed to put the interviewee at ease, but they were also too candid for my taste. I just think the dialog of the whole movie was not good. It was not a well-written screenplay.
All of the attitudes about sex were aggravating and interesting at the same time. Obviously, the ideas that adults were putting into young people’s heads about sex were infuriating. How could people have said that? And, more importantly, how could someone believe it? I guess since Dr. Galliano clarified that these people were pretty sheltered, that explains it kind of. Not all of them were, however, and not all of the people who thought these crazy things were even bible-thumpers. (At least it the movie didn’t make them seem like it).  One thing I found extremely interesting was Kinsey’s own personal sexual experiences. Not that I assumed that he was promiscuous, but I couldn’t believe that he didn’t have premarital sex. It seems to me, even if he WEREN’T Alfred Kinsey, sex research pioneer, that he would have just to get back at his father who he hated.  
My biggest personal problem with the movie was the casualness of it. I don’t consider myself to be conservative at all when it comes to sex and sexuality, but the way that sex was just treated as some unimportant biological necessity really bothered me. Like when Kinsey had sex with Martin, that didn’t bother me, but when Kinsey was telling Mac about it, and just expecting her to be okay with it, that really got to me. And then Martin flat out asked to have sex with Mac.  That was uncomfortable to me. I think that sex should be treated with more importance than what they were giving it.
Overall, I liked this movie. Well, I guess it was very thought provoking. The film made me uncomfortable, mad, and happy, and this is exactly what a good film does.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Apollo 18


I am/was so excited that this finally came out. I first heard about it forever ago, and was very excited then, but the release date kept getting pushed back. I think it was originally supposed to have a summer release, but here we are in September, and it’s just now coming out. I wasn’t even sure it was coming out last Friday. I went to see the Guillermo Del Toro movie the week before last, and the preview for Apollo 18 said it was coming out in March. Very strange. But anyway, never mind. It came out…finally.
           
            Apollo 18 is a very Paranormal Activity-esque movie about the supposed mission to the moon after Apollo 17. All the footage is supposed to be discovered footage of the mission. I thought this was cool. It is a shame, though, that this has become sort of a genre in its own, because you know it’s not real. When I first saw Paranormal Activity, it was right after it came out, so everyone still thought it was real. Maybe it was naïve to think it was real, but it sure made it terrifying. Apollo 18, I’m sure, would have been just as scary if it were the first of its kind.

            All that being said, this movie was just okay. Maybe I built it up too much in my head, but the more I think about it, the less I like it. Which is never good. When I was watching it, it was really creepy, and I jumped a few times. But now looking back…not much happened. It seemed like the movie was like 90% suspense, but the payoff wasn’t nearly scary enough. Like, Paranormal Activity is probably just as much suspense, but when the action happens, it’s really scary. Also, maybe my scared-ness during the movie probably had a lot to do with my personal fear of creepy-crawly things. So the fact that the aliens were spider-like was actually scary to me. I will say that the aliens were very original, which was good. And who doesn’t love a good government conspiracy movie?

            I don’t want anyone to think that I’m completely knocking this movie. Because I’m not. It was entertaining, and at the end of the day, that’s what movies are about. 

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Not Having Internet sure is a Pain.

Sorry I haven't posted in a little while. I don't have internet at my house, and that makes keeping up with a blog quite difficult. Also, there hasn't really been much to write about. I haven't been doing anything besides going to school and work. Trying to balance everything has been my biggest focus. For example, I would still like to have a social life on top of going to work, school, and taking care or Carl. I guess he's been my biggest struggle. I feel so guilty when I have to be gone all day. I even changed my availability at work because on Mondays I have class until like 9 at night, and I was working before then. So I'd be out of the house from like 6a til 9. Not okay for his little bladder. So I did that, and I've been thinking about having him go to day care on Mondays. I've been taking him on walks every morning. Playing with him when I can. Taking him to dog parks at least once a week. I try to take him with me in the car whenever I can. Right now he's here with me at Starbucks. He's doing good, but of course this experience has been ruined because this stupid woman and her dog have sat right next to us. Carl is going crazy. Now getting anything done seems impossible.

School is pretty much going the same. I still like most of my classes. I've been trying to keep up with the readings. The only major thing I've messed up so far is that I forgot about a geology quiz that was online. Never again. For my screenwriting class were finally getting in to our stories. Mine is very personal about my life. I hope I can do it justice. I know that it's a strong story, and I know I'd think that even if it didn't happen to me. Otherwise, nothing is really going on in the way of school.

My dad comes in a week! And I'll get to move, and unpack, and HAVE INTERNET. Woo.

More later.